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PRESLEY

THE LURCHER WITH 2 MANY BRAINS

Ma name iz Presley, az iz a Pedigree Lurcher..
Intro
This page iz dedicated tae aw ma familee currently living wae me at Lan Ark Open Prison.

Mollee - ma beetch
Az loves ma Molls tae bits, wees share the turd cell doon on the left, wees met when wees wur puppee and wees huv been together ever since. Here iz mee an Molls sunbathin on oor pateeo wiff a bloo eleepfant.



Ma Molls iz a pedigree Greyhound an az iz a pedigree Lurcher so that iz a rite good combination, she was born on the 14th of June 2005, coz no buddee noo ma birthday mee and Molls share that date, az just wish ma Mum and Dad would buy us a cake wan day.

Mollee iz ma number one beetch in the hole world and wees plays Leap Frog every day, az haz udder beetches but ma Mollee will always be ma number one.



Mac - ma bodyguard
Big Mac the black wan iz the Kings Bodyguard, he iz a rite nutjob and no one can be messing wiff him, wan day a Rottie tried to get the Kings crown jewels and big Mac scared him away, he iz a big black Greyhound born on the 18th of June 2002.



Being az famous az Presley The King calls for a rite good bodyguard, Mac iz right good at hiz job that az iz even scared of him. Here iz mee and Molls oot meeting ma public wiff daft bloo coats on, Mac iz in the background takin care of his bodyguarding business.



Wizzard - the auld codger
Wizzard iz oor auld timer, he iz 3,437 years old, az haz never seen a dug az old az him, he canny see very well cos of hiz poor eye site and he likes bumpin in tae things.



Cos he iz auld, he talks aboot the war an aw that stuff which az think iz pure dead brilliant cos hees haz given me some rite good eescape tips fur me and ma Molls tae get oot this prison.



Denzil - Greyfriars Bobby
Denzil wiz ma first cat, the first time az spoke tae him he scratched ma face real bad, az will never forget that. Wan day he didnae appear as usual and az fot he hud made the Great Eescape, later that day ma Mum sat us aw doon and explained that wee Denzil had gone tae a place called Rainbow Bridge, she was rite upset that day.



Olly - the quiet one
Olly wiz oor black cat, but sadlee he wemt tae see Denzil at Rainbow Bridge on 1st Jan '09.



Charlie - the chubbster
Charlie is a big fat monster, she iz so funnee, when we get oor prison grub she eats dead fast then goes back tae the end of the queue fur an udder dinner! She iz 11 years old and iz so white if it snows ye canny even see her, unless she sits neer yellow snow. She haz a great plan tae eescape nexx winter by disguising herself az a snow cat.



 
Ivor - Mr P Bear
An thiz wiz ma big bruver Ivor, or Ivy Pyv as ah called him. Ma Mum called him P Bear, coz he looked like a Poller Bear.



Big Ivor wiz a white Greyhound, but he went tae Rainbow Bridge in Jannewaree '09. Ma Molls always fot hee was rite handsome. One time Ivor bit my Mum on hur hand, but mee and Mollee pure laffed coz it was funnee, so if ewe see ma Mum check oot the nick of the scar on the back of hur hand.



Ruby - the boss ladydee
Roobee iz the top babe in oor prison, she pure loves ma Mum tae bits, she can gets anything smuggled intae oor cell that wee want. She iz a rite clever dug which iz funnee cos she iz Ivor's sister. Roobee got a fing called cancer and shee had to go to hospeetal, when she came home, she only had free legs, but ah diney fink she even noo that, coz of the speed she wiz runnin aroond at, so ah didnae like tae point out the obveeos.



Roobee iz White and Brindle and she iz no bad lookin fur her age.



Bazil - The brush
Bazil iz rite funnee, hees iz the nooest dug inmate at oor prizon, ah dinney ken where hees wiz befour but the first day hees got here az saw him spitting his dinner oot ontae the floor rite in front of Mum and Dad, hee telt me later hees onlee bin used tae curree and chips and mince and home maid soop! Ah telt him nae luck, it wiz gruel and water fae now on..



Bazil iz the fattest dug in oor prison, hee looks a bit like a fox so maebee his reel Dad wiz a fox or somefin. Az reckon hees iz a bit tuff cos hees iz covered in scars, witch must bee frum all the fites hees huz been in.



Six - the loner
Six iz weerd, she iz no 6 but 15 years old, she diznae like anywan, cept ma Mum. Ah finks she iz been in solitaree so long that she preefers hur own companee.



Zoro - the Devil
Wee Zoro wiz wur oldest cat, he came tae live wiff uz when hee wiz 20 years old and lived tae bee 21.5 yeers old. He wiz also called the weekest link, coz hee couldnae climb on the bed and Mum and Dad bot him stairs tae get onto the bed. Ah swears tae masell that is the troof. Zorro took no well and went tae Rainbow Bridge at the end of Febrooaree 09.



Mum and Dad
Meet wur Mum and Dad, wur prizon guards,thye are dug dealers, theys went tae a place called Port Ugal a foo yeers ago and thiz iz where thiz picktoor was taken, ah fot thiz wood have been the ideel chance fur me tae eescape but theys sent ma Aunty Rachels tae guard me and take over as head warder fur the week, noo az like ma Aunty Rachel a lot so ah stay wiff hur.
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